Fog rolled over the grassy knolls as she sat looking over towards the east to the forest of spruces. The sun was just peaking above them, cascading gray over the land and waking up the sounds of nature. She brought a mug to her lips. Vanilla black tea. Her favorite.
Her lungs took in a full breath of morning air. It chilled her, but brought sense to her nerves. She held it, bringing it to body temperature, then released it causing a hazy to form.
Stillness.
She put the mug down and cradled her head in her hands. To the side of her a pen and paper lay. Blank. She peered at them through her fingers then started to massage above eyes.
Confusion.
Snatching the mug from the porch floor and taking a large gulp she stood up and walked bare foot into the dewy grass. Fog continued to roll in and her feet disappeared in a layer of it. Her eyes frantically danced around. The trees, the rolling fog, the house, her blank soul, back to the trees and then to the sky. Her steps built in speed as she paced around the wet grass.
Manic.
She tossed her mug and it faded into the fog then trodded to the forest. Emptiness, panic, frustration, shame crawled from the earth and up her legs. She stomped through the forest. Roots and twigs ripping and tearing at her flesh. Her eyes kept alert, darting, searching, wishing , praying. For what? Would she know when she saw it? Would it help? Her thoughts seemed distant, heavy. Her body moved on it’s own now. Looking, but not seeing.
She emerged from the forest. But was she the same?
The pen had rolled off of the paper.
It was still blank.
She was still hollow.
It was still empty.
She searched for her mug among the fog, found it, and returned to the porch. She looked up at the gray sky. It stretch endlessly beyond the mountains and the trees. A haze the blanketed everything. She leaned back and closed her eyes. The blanket of haze weighted heavier on her mind and soon she was fast asleep.
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Inspired by those days when you seemed to be weighted down by haze. It rests in your mind, dulling and warming your senses. Had th is song on repeat while writing. I love the background beats Walk Away by Point Blank Society